Where Is The Money?

One of the essential truths of divorce, no matter where your case is being handled, is that the assets you and your spouse accumulated during your marriage will be shared.  That is why it is critical that spouses know what those assets are, hopefully before anyone files for divorce.

Once a divorce is filed, your will give your attorney a list of your assets, along with the back-up paperwork to prove what you own. Your spouse is required to do likewise for his or her attorney. The attorneys then exchange the information through the process known as “discovery,” and the attorneys, perhaps with the involvement of the court, will arrange to have appraisals done to determine the value of any assets whose value is not easily known (such as a home or pension).  Once that process is complete, the attorneys will have a clear understanding of what the parties own so that they can begin negotiating how those assets are going to be shared.

But what happens if one spouse is hiding assets?  Unfortunately, it is not always apparent during the discovery process when a spouse has hidden an asset, and as an attorney, if we don’t know something is missing, we are not looking for it and we may not find it.  That is especially true when the hiding began long before the divorce starts, so that there is no obvious paper trail. In every case, the person best able to identify if there may be hidden assets is the client.  It is critical for every spouse, especially a divorcing spouse, to remain informed about their household income, expenses, and assets.  In that way, they are able to identify when something is missing.

So how can you tell if your spouse is trying to hide assets?    Here are some things to look for:

  1. Watch your financial account statements so that you can identify large unexplained withdrawals or transfers.    If you know what should be coming in and going out, you can easily spot when something is amiss.
  2. Look carefully at your income tax returns filed over the last few years.  Did you have earned income from an investment that seems to have disappeared before your spouse filed for divorce?  If so, point out the change to your attorney.
  3. If account statements suddenly stop coming to your home, by wary. The accounts may have been closed, or the statements are being diverted to another address to keep you from seeing what is going on.
  4. Gifts to family, adding some else’s name to a bank account, buying assets in someone else’s name, and transferring funds to the children are all methods spouses may use to conceal assets.
  5. Some spouses will delaying receiving earned commissions or other forms of compensation from their employer until after the divorce is filed. If your spouse usually gets paid commissions on a regular cycle, and the payments were not made according to the normal schedule, there may be a hidden agenda.

Spouses are often very creative, and the person who wants to cheat will often find a way.  Your best defense to these shenanigans as a divorcing spouse is to stay informed and make sure your attorney is aware of your suspicions.

Copyright © 2012, Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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Use of Experts in Divorce Proceedings

An “expert” is a person who has specialized knowledge, training, experience and/or education relating to a specific issue or subject.  Experts are called upon in many areas of the law to provide their opinions.  These opinions may be helpful to divorcing parties to provide advice to help them make decisions or reach a settlement.  If necessary, an expert may be called upon to provide the court with an opinion at trial that is intended to help judged make decisions about disputed issues.

As an attorney I will sometimes suggest that a client consult with an expert about an issue that is beyond my area of expertise.  Among the reasons I may send a client to an expert would be to get some guidance on a complicated tax issue, financial planning for after the divorce, or even a mental health evaluation for themselves or a child in crisis.  Types of experts consulted during a case might include accountants, financial advisors, private investigators, psychologists, or even other attorneys with a particular expertise relevant in a case.  These consultants are paid by the person hiring them. They are typically not used as a trial witness, but rather, to offer advice to help a party evaluate their position; make decisions during negotiations; participate in preparing detailed requests for documents from the other party;  review documents and information produced during discovery; and to assist in the planning and trial preparation phase of a case.

Neutral experts are appointed by a judge to give an opinion on a particular issue that falls within their expertise. Commonly used court appointed neutral experts include forensic accountants, who provide an opinion as to the value of the family business; real estate appraisers who value the property owned by the parties; mental health professionals who offer opinions relating to a disputed custodial issue; or pension evaluators who place a present day dollar value on a spouse’s retirement assets.  The fee of a neutral expert is typically paid by the parties in a manner designated by the court.  These experts will usually present their opinions to the court in a report shared with the parties and the lawyers. The parties are then free to use the report to help them reach a settlement of certain issues.

Remember that expert witnesses are providing opinions based upon a particular expertise they have in a specific field.  Opinions may be incorrect, and not surprisingly, experts will often disagree.  While a court may give deference to a neutral expert, even neutral expert opinions may be challenged at trial.  If there is a dispute, the neutral expert will testify as to their opinion at trial, ny, after which the parties will present testimony or evidence as to why the opinion should not be accepted by the judge.

When a person challenges an expert, they will hire someone who is an expert in that field to advocate their position. This type of independently hired expert witness – who may be euphemistically referred to as a “hired gun” – would review the factual issues relating to their area of expertise.  A hired expert witness will offer guidance to an attorney when preparing to question the competing expert’s opinion during cross examination, as well as offer their own testimony at trial to explain where the neutral expert or the other parties’ expert went wrong in reaching her or his opinion and conclusion.

A party may hire an independent expert witness on issues that have not been the subject of a neutral expert opinion if there is reason to believe the opinion may be helpful at trial. For instance, if there is a dispute as to whether or not a parent is disabled, and hence able to support a child financially or not, a party may choose to bring in an expert witness to offer testimony on the issue.  Another possible use of an expert is to support a parties’ argument that as a former stay at home spouse, they require long term financial support. That person may hire an expert to offer an opinion as to their income and earning potential based upon their years out of the workforce, work experience, age, and fitness level.

The cost of using an expert varies greatly, from a free phone call to your accountant to answer a question, to a few hundred dollars for an appraisal of your home, to thousands of dollars for trial testimony.

In most cases, using an expert can be a cost effective way to resolve certain issues early in a case.   Parties can agree to share the cost of an expert appraiser to value a home or pension, and once the value is set, they can agree on how to divide the asset. If you know a value of an asset early on, you can easily avoid spending unnecessary legal fees and costs debating the issue.

On the other hand, particularly cases where there are dueling experts offering conflicting opinion, the cost of expert witnesses can be extraordinarily steep. Some forensic evaluations in custody proceedings or business evaluations can cost tens of thousands of dollars, even when only paying for the opinion of a neutral expert. That expense is compounded significantly if there is a need to hire an independent expert to review the report for errors, and perhaps to offer testimony on behalf of a party.

It is important that you discuss the options on using expert witness with your attorney early on in your case.  Not every case calls for the use of an expert, and certainly not every case calls for the costly use of experts, but if your case does need one, you should know at the outset so that you can be properly prepared.

Copyright © 2012, Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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Child Support “ADD ON” Expenses

Basic child support is the amount paid periodically (typically weekly, bi-weekly, semi-monthly or monthly) from one parent to the residential custodial parent for the support of their children.  In New York, as in other states, child support orders are controlled by formulas contained in a child support statute.  In New York, the statute is called the Child Support Standards Act or CSSA.  The CSSA formula calculates child support based upon the income of the parties.  The New York State child support standards charts can be viewed here.  The New York City Human Resources Administration also provides an online calculator which you can use to calculate child support here.

In addition to the basic child support, a child support order may require that parents share the cost of child support “add-on” expenses.  These add-on expenses usually include the cost of health insurance for the child, unreimbursed health care expenses (such as co-payments), and a share of any necessary child care expenses.  Discretionary add-on expenses may include educational expenses, religious education, and extracurricular activities.  Typically, add-on expenses are shared on a pro-rata basis, in proportion to the parties’ income.  That means that if one person earns 25% of the total combined parental income, that person pays 25% of the cost of the add-on expenses.

A basic child support order is easy to keep track of since the amount due is fixed and regular.  Where payments are deducted from wages and paid through the local support collection unit, the unit keeps track of what is due and what has been paid, and provides the parties with regular statements of their accounts.  If the payment is made directly, the parties can each easily track regular payments simply by keeping copies of checks.  Either way, if one parent falls behind on payments, the other parent should easily be able to prove to a court the amount that is due, and the amount that was paid, and the amount that remains unpaid.

That is not the case with add-on expenses.  These expenses, which typically vary from month to month, are not collected by the support collection units since they are not equipped to handle the record keeping that would be required of them to track these irregular bills and payments.  Payments for add-ons are usually paid in full by one parent, who then asks for reimbursement from the other parent, or, if there is an agreement to do so, parents can each pay their share of the expense directly to the service provider (such as the doctor or school).  Either way, the parents themselves must manage the record keeping, which will be critical to any parent trying to collect on an overdue add-on expense, or trying to prove that a payment was made that is in dispute.

If the parents cannot agree on what is due and what was paid, these cases will often find themselves in a courtroom. If that happens, the parent trying to collect an overdue add-on expense has to prove to the court that proper notice of the expense was given to the other party, the amount that was due, and the amount that remains unpaid before a court will intervene.  The paying parent will be required to prove to a court what was actually paid by them on account of add-on expenses.  As you can see, being successful in court requires careful record keeping.

Below is one suggestion on how parents may keep track of add-on expenses, but there are other possibilities and the method you choose should be adapted to suit your family, the requirements of your court order,  and your personal record keeping style.  Ideally, with good record keeping by both parents, court conflicts can be avoided completely.

  • Each parent should keep a list of all add-on expenses that are to be shared by the parties.
  • I recommend that parents keep a spreadsheet page for each month in which payments are due. The sheet should detail each expense item, the total cost paid for the item, and the amount due from each parent.   At the bottom of the page, the totals should be listed.

The spreadsheet might look something like this

Date

May 2012 Add-On Expenses for Justin

Total Paid by Mary

Mary’s Pro-Rata Share (50%)

Andrew’s Pro-Rata Share (50%)

Amount Now Due to Mary from Andrew

5/2012 Private School Tuition $300 $150 $150 $150
5/4/12 Co-Payment to Pharmacy $10 $5 $5 $5
5/4/12 Dr. Smith Co-Payment $15 $7.50 $7.50 $7.50

TOTAL DUE TO MARY – 5/2012

$162.50

 

  • If using this method, I suggest that at the beginning of each month, the parent entitled to payment mail a copy of the spreadsheet page from the previous month, along with copies of all bills, receipts, and proof of payment for add-on expenses, along with a note asking for payment.
  • If your agreement requires it, or if there has been a problem in the past with claims that a parent has not received information mailed to her or him, I suggest that you send the information by certified mail or pay for proof of mailing from the post office.
  • Payments for add-on expenses should be by check or money order, payable to the other parent as reimbursement if appropriate, or directly to the service provider (such as the school or doctor).  Once payment has been made, keep a copy of the check, and an image of the cancelled check, and staple the proof of payment to the original bill sent to you.

Ideally, good record keeping will keep disputes to a minimum, but if you do find yourself in court, you will have all the proof you need to prove the amount due, or the amount you already paid.

Copyright © 2012, Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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A Guide to the Vocabulary of “Custody”

When you have to make decisions about the care and custody of your children, a whole new vocabulary presents itself.  Since it is best that you know the lingo, here is the crib sheet version of what these words mean:

Custody:  When we use the word custody we are actually talking about two separate issues – legal custody and physical or residential custody.

Residential Custody:  Refers to where the children will be living.

Physical or Residential Custodial Parent:  This is the person in whose home the children will live most of the time.  Since this is the parent who must maintain a day-to-day residence for the children, this is also the parent who will likely be awarded child support for the children.

Legal Custody:  This refers to who has authority to make important decisions for the children.  While both parents are expected to make day-to-day decisions when the kids are with them, the person who gets to make the major decisions –about healthcare, education, and general welfare – is the person with Legal Custody.

Joint Legal Custody:  This is used to describe a situation where parents have agreed to make major decisions for the children together.  Joint legal custody is considered the ideal situation for the children, but it requires work on the part of parents, and the ability to put aside differences to reach a consensus.

Sole Legal Custody:  Where parents cannot work together, one parent is typically given the authority to make major decisions.  Usually, that is the same parent who is the Residential Custodial Parent.  Often, Sole Legal Custody is contingent upon a “Right of Consultation.”

Right of Consultation:  This refers to the rights of a parent who does not have legal custody to be kept informed of all issues involving the children. The parent with the Right of Consultation has the right to be kept informed of issues by the parent with Legal Custody.  This requires “meaningful” consultation, but there is little information and guidance on what “meaningful” actually requires. Often, it is as much or as little as the parents are willing to tolerate or accept, which is not an ideal situation.

Parenting Time: In the past this was referred to as “visitation.” It is the schedule for when children are with each parent, including a schedule for weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacations.  Ideally, your parenting time should be specific enough to avoid disagreements, but should also allow for flexibility.  As your children grow, their needs and activities will change, and these schedules need to be flexible enough to accommodate those changes.

Parenting Agreement/Parenting Order:  A parenting agreement contains the rules the parents will follow.  When signed by a judge, it becomes an order that is enforceable both as a court order and as a contract.  A typical Parenting Agreement will include all of the terms that are necessary and important to the family.  Among other things, it may include all of the following information:

  • What kind of custody will the parents have (joint legal, sole legal)?
  • Which parent has primary residential custody?
  • Contains the complete parenting schedule, including provisions for changing the schedule in the event a child is ill or a cancellation is needed.
  • Who will pick up and drop off the children when they are exchanged between parenting times?
  • Includes any agreement between the parents regarding education and religious upbringing.
  • How will the parents share information the children bring home from school or activities?
  • Includes the agreement regarding attendance at conferences, special events or functions involving the children (such as parent teacher conferences, graduations, sacraments, birthday recitals, ball games, etc).
  • Details the agreement between the parents on how they will handle attendance at family functions that take place during year, including   weddings, parties, communions, and the like.
  • Can the parents travel outside of the United States with the children, and if so, are their any restrictions to foreign travel. This provision will specify who is responsible for the passports, and what are the notice requirements between the parents.
  • How will the children be able to communicate with the other parent and on what schedule (will the children have cellular phones, be able to email or text, etc)?
  • Are there any agreed upon restrictions to relocation with the children by the primary residential custodial parent.
  • Are there any other restrictions the parents have agreed upon (for instance, that Uncle Max will not babysit the children).

Law Guardian or Attorney for the Child:  This is an attorney appointed by the court to represent children in the event of a custody dispute.   They may be used alone, or in conjunction with a forensic evaluator.

Forensic Evaluator:  This is a person, usually a mental health professional with expertise in this area, who is appointed by a court when there is a disagreement about custody.  The forensic evaluator evaluates custody issues and reports the findings back to the court. This typically involves extensive interviews of the family, including the children and parents, and any secondary or collateral sources with information that might prove helpful, including other family members, therapists, or in some cases educators. The forensic evaluator will also do psychological testing where necessary. This process will ordinarily take several months to complete and can be very costly.

Parenting Coordinator:  This is a person whose role is to help parents reach an agreement when they have a conflict about the children.  They may be used during the litigation or even after the divorce.  Often, a parenting coordinator is a mental health professional. Their role may be similar to a mediator, though they may take a more proactive role then a typical mediator. Using a parenting coordinator can help divorced parents resolve problems before they resort to costly legal proceedings.  These coordinators have come in and out of favor over the years, and while courts may not appoint one, parents can agree to use them voluntarily.

Submitted and written by Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq.

© Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., Staten Island, New York, All Rights Reserved – February  5, 2012   www.francinecohen.com

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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How To Save On Legal Fees Without Compromising On Quality

Everyone would like to cut expenses, but for many couples going through a divorce, they just keep piling up, especially legal fees.  Surprisingly, the experienced attorney with the higher hourly rate may not be the most expensive.  When you hire an experienced divorce attorney, he or she will be able to identify the critical issues in your case, set reasonable expectations for the eventual outcome, have the skills to represent you in court, and be able to guide you on where to invest your legal dollars. He or she will have a large database of documents drafted in similar cases to draw upon and customize to fit your needs, saving you time and money. These advantages will likely to save you money over a less experienced attorney.

So where can you find some savings without sacrificing quality?

Since a client is billed based on the time a lawyer spends on their case, anything the client does to cut down on that time will save money. With that in mind, here are some suggestions on how you can reduce lawyer time spent on your case and save on your legal fees:

1.            Most people hiring a divorce attorney will be asked to provide their lawyer with copies of their complete financial history, sometimes going back several years.  This typically includes copies of all bank records, tax returns, brokerage records, deeds, titles, etc.  This can be a very large task, but it is a great way for clients to cut costs by doing the organizing work themselves.

For instance, Client #1, who comes in with a grocery bag full of unsorted papers in response to this request. That client will be paying for the time it takes for an associate or paralegal to sort through and organize those documents, and then have them copied or scanned.  If pages are missing, Client #1 may have to pay for the firm to get copies directly from banks and other institutions to fill in missing information. This exercise will take hours of legal work and cost hundreds of poorly spent dollars for Client #1.

Now compare Client #1 to Client #2, who carefully assembles her documents and has them scanned onto a storage device or provides us with neatly indexed and organized binders containing all of the documents requested in chronological order, including both a copy for our firm and one for the opposing counsel.  This makes it easy for the lawyer to look over the documents, identify any issues, and then serve the documents on the other attorney.  Most importantly, this saves hours of legal work for the attorney and staff.  Client #2’s efforts can save her hundreds of dollars, and she earns the gratitude of her lawyer and her staff as a bonus!

2.            I long ago lost count of the number of times a client has told me that their future ex-spouse has refused to discuss and issue and told them to have her lawyer take it up with his lawyer. That should never be the approach for dealing with day-to-day issues, which ideally should not involve the lawyers.  It is almost always a waste of your money to have your attorney take the time to address minor matters that have no enduring benefit to you or your case.  Since saving money is likely a common goal you share with your future ex-spouse, I encourage my clients to try to find a method to handle these issues outside of involving the attorney.

What if your ex will not cooperate? Try to stay focused on the benefits and the costs when deciding whether to ask your lawyer to intervene. For instance, if the issue involves a needed repair in the home, and the cost is $300, should you involve your lawyer, who will involve your spouse’s lawyer, at a likely combined expense that is greater then the cost of the needed repair? Some clients will want to do just that, perhaps in the hope that doing it once will encourage the intransigent spouse to cooperate next time, while others will prefer to make the repair and ask for a credit or offset later. Do what is best for you, but don’t lose sight of the costs and ultimate benefit.  The fact is it is never wise to spend hundreds of dollars on an issue with little end reward.  Spend your money where it counts.

3.            Meeting deadlines is another area where money can be saved. Each missed deadline will have a consequence, from minor to major, and a corresponding expense. While missing some deadlines may be unavoidable, others can be avoided, as can the corresponding expense.

Make no mistake that the client who routinely needs reminders of deadlines, or who needs to be prodded to bring in requested documents, will pay more in legal fees.  These delays may require the attorney to take the time to call the client, send out reminder letters, and arrange for extensions of time with the court or opposing counsel. The expenses may be more significant where the client’s failure to meet deadlines despite repeated warnings from the court and lawyers, leading to costly court motions with significant legal consequences.

These legal fees can be saved just by meeting deadlines.   As a bonus, your attorney will appreciate having a cooperative client who is on top of their case.

4.            During your divorce you may have complaints about the behavior of your future ex, his lawyer, the courts, and the system.  Your complaints may be valid, but they will have no legal or practical solution short of bringing your case to its conclusion and getting you divorced. Avoid calling your lawyer when these issues come up unless you want to pay for her to just listen to the complaint.  Call someone who will not charge you for the time it takes to hear your complaint!

There are undoubtedly many ways to save money on legal fees that are not included here. As a rule, anything you can do to minimize the time spent on your case by your lawyer will save you money. Your lawyer should be able to identify areas where you can save without sacrificing the quality of services provided. If he or she does have other suggestions on how you can save money, please post them here as a comment and share them with our readers.  The advice will be much appreciated!

Copyright © 2012, Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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Allocating College Expenses After Divorce

If you are like most parents, you have thought long and hard about how to fund your children’s college education.  Most families want to do their best to provide for their children’s education, so they save if they can afford it, and when the time comes, they choose a school based on what they can afford. But while paying for a child’s education is strictly voluntary for intact families, in New York divorced parents may be ordered by a court to contribute to a child’s continuing education. That’s ideal for a divorced parent who is willing to educate their child regardless of cost and wants a former spouse to be on the hook to do likewise.  For other divorced parents, it could be financially devastating.

With the possibility that a court might force them to pay for college at a rate that may be beyond their ability or willingness to pay, it is often wise for divorcing parents to negotiate to include the issue of paying for college in their divorce settlement agreements.  There are many options to consider when negotiating these terms, and this list is by no means exhaustive, but I have tried to provide an overview of how these clauses work, and offer some suggestions on what should be considered when negotiating these terms.

Most college expense provisions in a settlement agreement will say that the parties have agreed to share the cost of the college bound child’s “tuition, room, board, mandatory fees, books, and travel expenses.” Those terms are defined by the agreement, and as is often the case in the law, the devil is in the details.  If you want an expense included or excluded, you must be specific.

First, notice what is excluded from the list. The list does not include any of the costs associated with getting into college in the first place.  These costs typically include college entrance exam fees (for SAT tests), SAT preparatory courses, consultant fees (consultants are increasingly common when applying for schools since they can help maximize financial aid and scholarships), college application fees, costs associated with visiting schools during the selection process, and even tutoring expenses.  If you want to ensure that parents share these expenses, your agreement must say so.

Of the items that are on the list, “Travel expenses” might include the purchase of a car (new, used, leased?), car insurance, and even money for gas and car repairs if the child attends a local school; it may include metro card costs for local students; or it might include airfare, bus-fare or train-fare to get the student to and from school for summer vacation and holidays.  Make sure your agreement is clear on what is included in travel expenses.

“Room and Board” is usually limited to the cost for the dorm and food plan at any given university. Some students, especially in their junior and senior years, may want to live off campus in a shared apartment.  If you intend to include contributions to rental and food as part of the definition of “room and board” you   need to be specific in your agreement.

“Mandatory fees” are fees added on by the school that a student must pay.  In this one area, at least, there is usually little argument.

“Books” can be purchased new, used, or as an ebook, and they can even be rented!   You should be certain the student is required to select the least expensive appropriate alternative.

“College” typically includes a child’s education as a full-time matriculated student in a fully accredited college or university.  If may not include private technical or certificate based educational facilities, or even a part time university program, unless you specify that it will.  It also usually excludes graduate schools.  If you want to include these additional programs, you should include them in the definition of covered educational expenses.

“Tuition” seems straightforward, but that’s not necessarily the case. It starts with the amount the school charges to educate your child.  Most agreements typically reduce that number by the amount of financial aid, grants and scholarships received by the student.  Your agreement should require that the parents and child cooperate and timely file all financial aid and scholarship applications.  If your agreement leaves this out, there is no obligation to try to offset tuition by available funding.

Notice that student loans are not mentioned as part of the financial aid.  If you want your student to borrow guaranteed student loans to help fund her or his education, your agreement must specifically say so, or the child will not be required to apply for or accept a loan.

Does your child have an existing (as of the divorce cut off date) educational savings account like a 529 plan or educational IRA? If so, make sure the agreement states that this fund will be preserved until the child enters college, and it will be exhausted first to pay tuition before any parental contributions are made.  Any college savings plans set up after the divorce, funded by a third party as a gift to one parent by a third party, may not come off the top of the tuition bill. In those cases, the payment typically will offset only one parent’s required contributions.

The agreement will also contain the formula for calculating the parent’s tuition obligation after subtracting grants, financial aid, scholarships, and loans, if appropriate. Most agreements follow one of two approaches.  Either the parents agree to a 50/50 split of the tuition, or they agree on a pro-rata sharing of the expense based on a comparison of the parties’ income (which is viewed as approximating what each parent can afford). For instance, if one parent earns $100,000 per year, and the other earns $50,000 per year, one parent would pay 2/3 of the total cost, while the other parent would pay 1/3 of the cost.

Make sure your agreement requires each parent to pay a share of the college expenses. I’ve seen a number of older agreements that required only the parent who pays child support to pay a certain percentage of the college expenses. So who pays the balance?  If the agreement does not specify the other parent, you may well find yourself in court arguing about this issue with a former spouse, or your child will have to pay the bill.

What if your child decides he or she wants to go to a pricey private school? Are you on the hook for your share of that cost? The answer is yes, unless your agreement provides for a limit or “cap” on your contribution. Traditionally, where a cap existed, it was usually set at the maximum amount charged by a state university, including room and board expenses.  In that way, if your child attends Party Time University at a cost of $100,000 a year with your ex-spouse’s blessing, your maximum contribution would be limited to your percentage share of the cost of the state university, even if the actual cost was much higher.

A word of caution about caps – make sure you know if they are applied with or without reductions for financial aid to avoid losing that benefit.  For instance, if Party Time University costs $100,000 and the financial aid package your child receives is $10,000, then the balance due is $90,000.  If each parent is responsible for 50% of expenses without regard to a cap, the cost would be $45,000 each per year.  If each parent was responsible for 50% up to a state university cap of $20,000, how much would each parent pay?  Most people would say $10,000, but that’s not necessarily the case.  If your agreement said the financial aid comes off the top of the cap amount, rather then the total tuition bill, then the contribution would be based on the $20,000 state school costs, less $10,000 in financial aid, leaving your responsibility at 50% of $10,000 or $5,000.  Make sure your agreement says what you mean!

Another factor to consider and include as part of your negotiations is how any tax benefits for college expenses are to be allocated. There are tax advantages to paying for college, and they seem to change annually.  You may agree to simply alternate claiming any available benefits with your former spouse; you may agree that the person paying the lions share of the cost will receive the benefit every year; or you may provide that if one party is ever over the income threshold to receive the benefit, the benefit automatically goes to the qualifying parent (perhaps with some other concessions for the non-qualifying parent). Make sure you discuss these issues with your tax advisor and your divorce attorney to preserve any benefits you may be entitled to receive now or in the future.

So what happens when there is no agreement on how to pay for college after divorce?  You can either work out an agreement when the child is ready to attend college, or, if the matter is left to a court, most parents will be ordered to contribute to the expenses.  The courts of New York have historically looked to the educational levels reached by the parents, the income available, and the student’s aptitude to decide what is appropriate.  An interesting recent case, Pamela T. v. Marc B., 2011 N.Y. Slip Op. 21355 (NY Supreme 2011) was decided in the Supreme Court, New York County. In that case, the Father was compelled to contribute to the cost of a private university, over his objection, and without any state university cap.  If you want to avoid this possibility, make sure your divorce settlement agreement specifies what you will or will not pay for your children’s college educations.

As always, if you want to discuss your impending divorce, or any of the issues contained in this blog entry, please give us a call.

Submitted and written by Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq.

© Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., Staten Island, New York, All Rights Reserved – December 5, 2011

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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Holidays During And After Divorce 101 – A Primer for Today and Years to Come

The stress of the holiday season is magnified for divorcing families.   Your family is already going through a huge transition, and then the holiday season arrives, which is all about bringing together – you guessed it – families.  This is definitely not what you need right now, but since you can’t stop time, how can you cope? Every holiday I am given the challenge of trying to guide my soon-to-be divorced client’s through the emotional minefield that is the holiday season.  Typically client’s want to know how to make things as “normal” for the kids as possible; how to share the holidays with the kids and the future ex; and whether they should avoid the soon-to-be ex-in-laws or reach out to them.

The best advice I can give is to be flexible; try to minimize conflicts; be open to alternative celebrations; put on a happy face even when you feel anything but happy; never make decisions in anger; and try to use common sense to resolve conflicts.  Ask yourself, is this argument for an extra hour with the kids on Christmas morning worth the stress on you and the kids?  Realize that not every battle is worth waging.

Here are some guidelines you should consider, both in the short term and for the long term as you work towards developing strategies for handling the holidays:

#1.  Do it anyway.  It’s been a tough year and you really don’t feel like celebrating. But you have to do it anyway, for yourself and your children. So put up the lights, decorate the tree, light the menorah, plant a smile on your face, do some shopping, and go to a holiday party or two.  Actively participating in the seasonal celebrations may even help lift your spirits, and your kids will appreciate the efforts you’ve made to give them a sense of normalcy.  One caveat here – if you find yourself depressed and unable to get through your day-to-day routines, or you cannot push yourself to participate, you may be suffering from depression. If that’s the case, please speak to your doctor or therapist to help get you through the holiday season.

#2.  It’s all about the kids. If this is your first holiday season apart from your future ex, your goal for this holiday season is to maintain as many traditions as possible for the sake of the children.  If the kids have spent every Christmas Eve since their birth with Grandma Ruby, it may well be best to let them do so again this year.  Yes, they will eventually get used to sharing holidays differently then before, but while the separation is still new, and there are so many other changes for the kids to get used to, following a routine can be comforting for a child, at least in the beginning. Yes you can and will build new traditions together, but they are still getting used to the changes, so easing the transition and taking it slow should be your goal. So take a deep breathe, send the kids to Grandma Ruby’s again this year, and think about how to handle next year when the kids will most likely be with you.

#3. The time to start a new tradition is now (and don’t be a slave to the calendar).  So the kids have always spent Thanksgiving at Aunt Sue’s house, but you’re no longer on the guest list.  You may do better to just let them continue to go to Aunt Sue’s for the holiday every year, while you pick a new “Thanksgiving Day” to celebrate with the kids and the rest of your family.  I have one client who let her ex have Thanksgiving every year, and she celebrates with the kids and her siblings and their families on the Friday after Thanksgiving. The bonus is, there are no scheduling conflicts on the Friday after Thanksgiving, so everyone is free to come the day after!

#4.  Set Reasonable Limits and Expectations. What about holiday gifts for the kids? The kids will make their usual list, and cash-flow permitting, both parents will overbuy as they did before – so the kids now get twice as much, and sometimes in duplicate! While you fret about how to share the holidays and maintain the spirit of the season, your kids quickly learn that the holidays are a boom-time! If this is not the message you want to send, then you must speak to your child’s other parent before you start shopping. Ideally, you will share the kids’ wish lists with each other and set limits together. Setting reasonable limits and expectation is always best for the kids – whether you are married or not.

#5.  Your soon-to-be ex-in-laws are still family. Like it or not, the soon-to-be ex-in-laws will remain family, at least to your children, once you and your spouse divorce.  Ideally they will be sharing many wonderful milestone moments with you and your children for years to come, so maintaining a decent relationship with them is pretty important if you don’t want to find yourself glaring at one another across the auditorium as your child graduates from Princeton.  Make the decision to send the right message to them early on in the divorce process so that those future milestone moments can be the happy ones they should be. The holiday season is just the time to help that effort along. Unless you think your effort will be wildly misunderstood, go ahead and send the former in-laws birthday and holiday cards; and if you see a gift your nephew would love, send it to him.  Bridges are built one step at a time, so get going.

#6.  What works for someone else may not work for your family, so customize accordingly and think outside the box.  Most families share holidays by alternating them from year to year, so the kids spend Christmas Day with dad in odd years and with mom in even years. But what if your family spends Christmas Eve together each year, while your former spouse’s family spends Christmas Day together each year?  Is it OK that the kids spend every Christmas Eve with you and every Christmas Day with your ex? Absolutely!  What if your ex would be more then happy to spend Thanksgiving with a Stouffer’s lean cuisine Turkey Enchilada entrée, while Thanksgiving for your family is the not-to-be-missed social event of the year?  Great, then the kids should be with you every year for Thanksgiving.  Does your ex spouse and her family spend Fourth of July each year at a huge  reunion in the Hamptons? Perfect! That’s a fair trade for Thanksgiving!  In the end, think about how your families celebrate each holiday and where your kids would likely prefer to be (you don’t want to force them to go to Aunt Helga’s house when they could be in the Hamptons) and use that as your guide. Your kids are building their childhood memories now, and they have preferences, so consider these issues when discussing future holiday sharing with your ex.

Yes the holidays will likely be more stressful then usual, but you can make it work for you and your family.  Try to retain some of the old traditions, while working on creating some new ones – because all of those traditions will likely be the cherished memories your kids will carry into adulthood. In the end, you will need to set aside your feelings a lot of the time, substitute a good dose of common sense, keep it respectful, and focus on putting the kids’ needs first.  If your ex doesn’t follow these rules, and many will not, try leading by example, and when that doesn’t fly, get the rules in writing in a divorce agreement you can live with. This year will be tough – really tough – but it usually does get better.  Try leading by example, and if nothing else, your kids will appreciate your efforts.

Good Luck and Happy Holidays from The Law Offices of Francine Pickett Cohen, LLC

Copyright © 2011, Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., All Rights Reserved

Disclaimer:  The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.

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