When you have to make decisions about the care and custody of your children, a whole new vocabulary presents itself. Since it is best that you know the lingo, here is the crib sheet version of what these words mean:
Custody: When we use the word custody we are actually talking about two separate issues – legal custody and physical or residential custody.
Residential Custody: Refers to where the children will be living.
Physical or Residential Custodial Parent: This is the person in whose home the children will live most of the time. Since this is the parent who must maintain a day-to-day residence for the children, this is also the parent who will likely be awarded child support for the children.
Legal Custody: This refers to who has authority to make important decisions for the children. While both parents are expected to make day-to-day decisions when the kids are with them, the person who gets to make the major decisions –about healthcare, education, and general welfare – is the person with Legal Custody.
Joint Legal Custody: This is used to describe a situation where parents have agreed to make major decisions for the children together. Joint legal custody is considered the ideal situation for the children, but it requires work on the part of parents, and the ability to put aside differences to reach a consensus.
Sole Legal Custody: Where parents cannot work together, one parent is typically given the authority to make major decisions. Usually, that is the same parent who is the Residential Custodial Parent. Often, Sole Legal Custody is contingent upon a “Right of Consultation.”
Right of Consultation: This refers to the rights of a parent who does not have legal custody to be kept informed of all issues involving the children. The parent with the Right of Consultation has the right to be kept informed of issues by the parent with Legal Custody. This requires “meaningful” consultation, but there is little information and guidance on what “meaningful” actually requires. Often, it is as much or as little as the parents are willing to tolerate or accept, which is not an ideal situation.
Parenting Time: In the past this was referred to as “visitation.” It is the schedule for when children are with each parent, including a schedule for weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacations. Ideally, your parenting time should be specific enough to avoid disagreements, but should also allow for flexibility. As your children grow, their needs and activities will change, and these schedules need to be flexible enough to accommodate those changes.
Parenting Agreement/Parenting Order: A parenting agreement contains the rules the parents will follow. When signed by a judge, it becomes an order that is enforceable both as a court order and as a contract. A typical Parenting Agreement will include all of the terms that are necessary and important to the family. Among other things, it may include all of the following information:
- What kind of custody will the parents have (joint legal, sole legal)?
- Which parent has primary residential custody?
- Contains the complete parenting schedule, including provisions for changing the schedule in the event a child is ill or a cancellation is needed.
- Who will pick up and drop off the children when they are exchanged between parenting times?
- Includes any agreement between the parents regarding education and religious upbringing.
- How will the parents share information the children bring home from school or activities?
- Includes the agreement regarding attendance at conferences, special events or functions involving the children (such as parent teacher conferences, graduations, sacraments, birthday recitals, ball games, etc).
- Details the agreement between the parents on how they will handle attendance at family functions that take place during year, including weddings, parties, communions, and the like.
- Can the parents travel outside of the United States with the children, and if so, are their any restrictions to foreign travel. This provision will specify who is responsible for the passports, and what are the notice requirements between the parents.
- How will the children be able to communicate with the other parent and on what schedule (will the children have cellular phones, be able to email or text, etc)?
- Are there any agreed upon restrictions to relocation with the children by the primary residential custodial parent.
- Are there any other restrictions the parents have agreed upon (for instance, that Uncle Max will not babysit the children).
Law Guardian or Attorney for the Child: This is an attorney appointed by the court to represent children in the event of a custody dispute. They may be used alone, or in conjunction with a forensic evaluator.
Forensic Evaluator: This is a person, usually a mental health professional with expertise in this area, who is appointed by a court when there is a disagreement about custody. The forensic evaluator evaluates custody issues and reports the findings back to the court. This typically involves extensive interviews of the family, including the children and parents, and any secondary or collateral sources with information that might prove helpful, including other family members, therapists, or in some cases educators. The forensic evaluator will also do psychological testing where necessary. This process will ordinarily take several months to complete and can be very costly.
Parenting Coordinator: This is a person whose role is to help parents reach an agreement when they have a conflict about the children. They may be used during the litigation or even after the divorce. Often, a parenting coordinator is a mental health professional. Their role may be similar to a mediator, though they may take a more proactive role then a typical mediator. Using a parenting coordinator can help divorced parents resolve problems before they resort to costly legal proceedings. These coordinators have come in and out of favor over the years, and while courts may not appoint one, parents can agree to use them voluntarily.
Submitted and written by Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq.
© Francine Pickett Cohen, Esq., Staten Island, New York, All Rights Reserved – February 5, 2012 www.francinecohen.com
Disclaimer: The information obtained at this site is not, nor is it intended to be, legal advice. You should consult an attorney for advice regarding your individual situation. We invite you to contact us and welcome your calls, letters and electronic mail. Contacting us does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please do not send any confidential information to us until such time as an attorney-client relationship has been established.
